Monday, 21 November 2011

The best laid plans......

I was really looking forward to a simple, relaxing weekend after the antics of earlier last week with the back etc, but I was informed by Mrs Slinky that junior was having a sleepover. I had apparently been informed about this earlier in the week, but have no recollection of it, possibly due to the drug induced stupor I was in as a result of the already discussed back pain.

So my plan for the weekend was out of the window. Time to make another plan. A man without a plan is simply a wobbly mess on the carpet, completely useless. The plan might not always go to, well erm, plan, but as long as we have a plan we are successful as men.

So thinking of the many and real possible pitfalls of the new weekend schedule I quickly developed a new plan. This plan would utilise the considerable powers of diversion and separation. I would divert myself away from temptations this weekend by separating myself from situations likely to present those temptations.

Situation #1
Part of this weekend sleepover, and in fact the catalyst for it, was a trip to the cinema. Now the cinema is simply fraught with hazards and pitfalls; the sweets, the ice cream, the popcorn, the slightly used chewing gum from under the seat....... hands up who's stomach just did a back flip? Count that towards your body magic!

My plan for diverting from all the sugary temptation was to separate myself from the cinema. It had absolutely nothing to do with the fact that I had no interest at all in actually watching the film, that was purely coincidental. My diversion would be a nice skinny latte at a nearby coffee house with Mrs Slinky. Now, while this diversion worked to separate me from the evil temptations of the cinema it also sat me right next to a slice of lemon drizzle cake ordered by my dear wife. New plan needed to survive this mini temptation. Its amazing how tasty the inside of your own cheek can be when you put a little thought and effort into imagining!

I was happy to have survived the situation intact and prepared to plan for the next scenario.

Scenario #2
Sleepovers generally are spent playing and eating junk. This sleepover was no different. Dinner for the sleepoveree's would be pizza and wedges with a liberal helping of sweets and popcorn before and after. So I needed a plan to continue my diversion and separation.

As we needed to visit our local supermarket of choice to purchase the snacks of satan and the pizzas of peril I would use the expedition to purchase food and other supplies that would both complement my current eating plan and divert me from the foods that could bring about my downfall. See? Man with a plan. It works, and it did work.......... right up to the point when we were half way home and I realised that we had actually failed to purchase anything suitable for me. Absolutely nothing. Not even a carrot. And there my plan failed. Too late to return to the store, too far from the store to turn around anyway and too unwilling to venture into the store again in such a short period of time I was forced to acknowledge the failure of the plan and continue home.

So the pizza was consumed. And though I know that the bread base would come back to haunt me on the scales, like a little flour based devil sat on my shoulder laughing at me, I took comfort in the fact that I'd had the plan in the first place, glossing over the fact that the plan failed at a magnificent level. A small glimmer of light in the black abyss of failure is that I racked up 30 minutes of body magic aimlessly walking around the supermarket.

Scenario #3
A plan for recovery had to be developed, and quick.
Sunday. Cooked breakfast Slimming World style. That was my plan for recovery. Safety in repetiton with the comforting warm hug of bacon and eggs. Success!

Another plan, an ingenious plan I might add, was hatched on Sunday. The plan was to cook another cooked breakfast, smaller though, not quite the corner cafe belly buster of the morning. This extra breakfast would be refrigerated and then consumed in work the following morning. And while the kitchen was in work mode I set about making a doner meat and chips for Monday lunch. The kitchen was a blur of activity and ingredients until beyond midnight, but the food was prepared and packaged.

Writing this blog on Monday afternoon I can confirm that a wonderful and tasty breakfast and lunch were consumed with quizzical onlooking from fellow diners in the staff canteen who question why I can eat these foods when I am on a diet. But of course I'm not on a diet. I'm on a simpler and more sensible way of cooking the food I like. I'm on the Slimming World plan. And I can take comfort in the knowledge that this plan works! Its worked for me so far and I know it will continue to work.

A recent news item came to my attention while writing this blog update. The American Congress have declared that pizza is now a vegetable. As I am part American I have decided to adopt this new classification and apply it to this past weekend.

What this therefore means is that scenario #2 was not a failure and was infact a perfect green day with all those slices of vegetable! I wonder how much of it was speed food....... 

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